A little while ago, someone I knew was going through a difficult time with his drinking. In order to offer him some support and help, I introduced him to a few friends of mine who are recovering alcoholics and part of AA fellowships. I was sure they’d do their best but I was quite amazed by the generosity and kindness they showed him, dropping things they were doing and changing their plans, prioritising his needs and requirements over their own convenience and comfort. They wanted him to get into recovery and to sort his life out and they did their best to help him in ways that he couldn’t do himself, accepting him and his problems, easing his path and making it clear that he was not alone and that he and his life mattered. They were kind, understanding and compassionate, behaving in a way that can only be called loving. When I thanked them, they dismissed it as nothing – or at least only Step 12 stuff of taking the message to others, but their genuine, generous actions touched me deeply.
It reminded me of the story in the gospels of both Mark and Luke where Jesus was teaching a crowd who had come to visit him at the house where he was living. There were so many people that there was no room for anyone else to get in or even stand in the doorway. Along came four men carrying a friend of theirs who was paralyzed and unable to walk. They were desperate to bring him to Jesus so that he could be healed. Undeterred by the large crowd, they carried their friend up to the roof using external stairs and proceeded to dig through the roof in order to create a hole big enough to lower the mat on which their friend lay so that it came to rest at the feet of Jesus. Jesus commended the men’s faith on behalf of their friend, forgave the man his sins and then to prove a point to the critical religious folk watching, healed the man. He doesn’t ask the man whether he has faith, his friends appear to have answered that question already. Their faith was sufficient. This story doesn’t stand alone either, there are many other examples in the gospels where Jesus healed someone because of another person’s faith.
How we care for our friends and our faith on their behalf seems to play a more important part in the process of change than our individualistic way of thinking allows. If we look around us, there is always someone we can help, be it a relative, friend or acquaintance who might require our support and encouragement, who needs someone to believe in them and have faith on their behalf. Strangely, it can often be easier to pray and have faith on behalf of others than it is for ourselves, maybe that’s because this is the way it’s meant to be. As we saw in a recent blog, we’re created to co-operate with one another, not compete. As we turn our eyes towards the needs of others and away from our own personal concerns, our self-obsessed way of thinking begins to reduce, giving becomes more important than receiving and love finally comes to town.
We pray in faith for our friends.
Bring your restoring presence to the dark places in their lives.
Bring your hope to their hearts when they feel defeated.
Bring your love and healing mercies when they are in pain.
Bring them safety and comfort when they are fearful and lonely.
Bring them through this hard time to a new place of freedom and light.
2 thoughts on “Faithful Friends”
Hi Ollie thanks for this, it’s beautiful. It’s so important isn’t it. I wish this stuff was taught in the school curriculum, right from the start, as a central tenet. If we are wired this way why is it still so lacking. Anyway, thanks again, so so helpful. These golden threads just keep coming, its truly amazing!!
Thanks Sarah. Our whole society seems to be geared to an individualistic view of life – in fact a very evangelical christian approach is also very individualised. I’m interested in whether we’re more accountable for each other than we’re taught, certainly its something 12 step recovery understands and I think lots of the bible acknowledges the corporate nature of faith – pictures of us working together as a body certainly suggest its one for all and all for one. I started out trying to write a prayer for our friends and added the pice afterwards.